Please talk to me Bugs! I miss you so!
You were my last"familiar"
I walked into CATS that day and when you heard me speak, you squalled until I came and found you. There wasn't a moment of adjustment.
Holding you as they killed you was the horror of my life!
Please forgive me!
Oh please.
I'll never forgive myself.
Never
Screw your God!
Life and death is NOT MY JOB!
You were the only one left in my life!
The only one who ever shared a life with me. The only one who could remember us.
I'm so sorry you had to go through this hell with me. I'm trying to join you but can't even do that right. I'm almost out of meds, I hope it ends without the fear and pain you had to go through
I'm sorry I was always crying and shaking. It must have been so hard for you!
I hope I am wrong! I hope someday I will see you again!
And Mama! And Dan! My sweet sister! Roger.
Thank you Roger. Several years before Roger Fredinburg died I asked him for a favor. I told him no one knows me, my life. No one was left except Bugs.
I sent him the story of my life and asked him not to reply, just know me.
When I lost everything in Almeda, he sent several hunreds of dollars. He was sick and couldn't do more
Hours before he passed he emailed me to say goodbye and thank me for being his friend! Can you imagine!!? He thanked me??
I miss you Roger.
I've never felt so alone.
Please make it stop.
Please
How many times can this little old heart break before it stops!??
None of the rest of you deserve to know me and never cared to know me!





is Normal.....to not want to be around those who traumatized me!!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou goddamned idiots
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