The greatest mistake of my life

 



The greatest mistake I ever made.

September 9, 2020

Bugs and I drove back roads waiting for the freeway to open and to get news if my neighborhood . Darrell kept texting and asked me to wait for him in Gold hill...I waited and waited. I tried to find someplace to go. I tried to find someone to take Bugs until I could find somewhere to go. The last thing I wanted was to be stuck with some mean SOB that I didn't even want to date! But everyone else had an excuse... allergies to the cat.... etc.
I thought about finding a home for Bugs and tried to bribe people. I simply couldn't find anything! No one would help. I had a phone without internet
And had to go to Walmart to buy minutes.
At one point after I found out my home was gone and none of my family would help me for just one night , I thought about just driving off the cliff. !
There were no motels in the entire state!
And that's exactly what I wish I had done.
Death would have been so much kinder than the abuse I suffered the last 4 years. I'll never run from a fire again.

I should have died that day.
No one deserves what I am going through!!

BTW
I have always backed our law enforcement. 
I was WRONG
Jackson county and Medford police are useless and scary pieces of crap!

This was found before the fire by someone in our community.  The cops ignored it 
BLM/Antifa were camping in Hawthorne park harrassing locals.

The night of the fire, I was parked at Rays in Rogue river.  5 Black clad, masked big guys pulled in the parking lot. Soon they were circling my car, noticing pro TRUMP bumper stickers. 
I was able to deter them....
We were never warned or evacuated. 3500 SENIOR CITIZENS LOST EVERYTHING AS THEY RAN FROM FLAMES!
That emergency Manager still has a job!  WHY!!
NO ONE CARES! NO ONE!
I ASKED A sheriff if I could park in the parking lot THAT NIGHT and they said yes, One night only!
Pardon me, but FUCK YOU LOCAL SHITS!
YOU SUCK


5 kids, and a bunch of people who have always abused me. I declined. 





Comments

  1. BAugust 26, 2024 at 6:05 PM

    The first time I lost my faith was when I lost Linda. 1973
    One day, Danny and I finally had a moment alone after she died and our baby died and that monster father of his attacked my 6 year old niece who just lost her mother! The most evil man I ever met. Soulless. We were surrounded by those kind of men... Dick Randleman, Mitch Milich, Darrell Wells..... And I guess it was natural for Shannan and Danny to both marry abusive narcissistic sociopaths.
    I explained to him.... because I wouldn't Cry because I was holding everything together, trying to work too.... that there's no God, he was right. No one would allow this who has the power to stop it!

    I guess it frightened him that I had changed so much in that opinion. That I got mad!
    I was always the one trying to get him to believe or at least have some spiritual meaning in our lives. He insisted he was agnostic. He wouldn't allow any "religious mumbojumbo" in his house. I complied like I always had until then. I don't think I have trusted anything or anyone since.
    Next thing I knew, there was a preacher in the house. A baptist if I recall.
    I don't remember a word he said. The usual bullshit I suppose.
    But I was touched by Dan's love for me and that he cared enough to notice my pain for a moment.
    I probably never told him thank you. That kind deed was wiped out by his anger with the kids.. they were so messed up. Just upside down.
    I couldn't fix it. I couldn't help anyone. Shannan was terribly neglected with 3 bigger confused angry kids in the house. I thought I was brave and tough and taking care of everyone. What a fool.
    I don't know if I have learned anything in this life.

    I am so sorry.
    I'm so so sorry!

    ReplyDelete

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