Will There be sorrow after death?

 




The only escape is death.  I fear and welcome the day.  Your God will probably let me live to 100 so I can experience his hell long after I deserved relief!

I can change nothing. I can't make abusers be honest. 
I have no power.  
Good bye.


To Darrell, Rick, Alan, Art... all you narcissistic sociopaths shits. 



The rest of you..go screw yourself. 


Lol. Grew big tomatoes from seed..bigger than the pumpkin!!
Summer is gone.  So is daylight.. now I get to have depression! I refuse to live through the holidays alone again.  No more!
No more!



Comments

  1. BOctober 23, 2024 at 12:12 PM

    BRING THEM ALL HOME! NO MORE WARS LIZ CHENEY!
    VOTE TRUMP.. THE ONLY PRESIDENT WHO DIDN'T GET US IN A WAR.

    https://www.facebook.com/reel/1733172470783538?mibextid=rS40aB7S9Ucbxw6v

    I'll never forget that day in August if 68 when Dan Milich drove in after getting out of Nam. We ran to each other. I don't think we would ever let go!
    I'm so sorry I couldn't help him.

    ReplyDelete
  2. BOctober 23, 2024 at 12:46 PM

    He was a good
    Man who wanted nothing more than to do the right thing. He explained to me on our way back from Reno after getting married that this time he took his dad's advice...marry someone who cares more about you than you care about them. Milich never loved me. He loved the idea that I was in love with him.
    He was in love with Sharon. She was pregnant with another guy's kid. That's why he went in the navy and to get away from his mean old man! Mitch called that boy a baby killer for fighting that war!
    I hope that SOB is rotting in a burning hell...see ya soon..hide you coward!

    ReplyDelete
  3. BOctober 23, 2024 at 6:00 PM

    I've thought about about why I am so angry.. furious, at myself. Some us guilt. I'd rather not made the mistakes I made.
    Mostly it's this, it disgusts me to have fallen into an emotional wreck. I prided myself on being the one who held it together while everyone else was a mental case. And I did. Until I lost my children. It's been downhill for 30 years. I always hated My emotional mother. And drunken father.
    I used to tell the kids, " Make all the happy noise you want. Anything mean isn't going to happen."
    I had 2 rules. The other was , leave it like you found it.
    They never could do that! Lol
    They were great kids. What a joy that was being your mom.
    That's good enough for anyone! I hate myself because it isn't. I hate being weak and vulnerable and frail.
    I've always pulled us out of everything, there was always something to look forward to.
    I just can't find a thing left!
    I hate myself because I am in this mess and can't figure out how I could have stopped most of it.
    I had finally gotten to a place where I didn't have to worry.. my home was perfect after 10 hard years of work for me to get old and die without being a nuisance to anyone.
    I bought new clothes for the first time in my life and got manicures!
    The kids were all fixed and safe with property so I was satisfied... Then they breached the dam.
    If you think it's been easy, you've never lost
    EVERYTHING.

    ReplyDelete
  4. BOctober 24, 2024 at 8:00 AM

    Shannan,
    That night I saw you at Red lobster 5 years ago, I felt that joy at seeing you after years...you stood there like stone and never said a word. It was like embracing death.

    Nothing ever hurt me more

    You need to find out why you have spent 35 years trying to destroy me.
    You succeeded so well that now I can't stand the sight or thought of you
    YOU have finally blocked me on email. Coward. You destroyed my life and ran. COWARD

    https://www.facebook.com/reel/482205734279459?mibextid=rS40aB7S9Ucbxw6v

    ReplyDelete
  5. BOctober 24, 2024 at 1:14 PM

    Soldiers come home:
    https://www.facebook.com/reel/351573624649044?mibextid=rS40aB7S9Ucbxw6v

    It was 1968. Earl Wells was dying in Portland. I was holding his hand at Oregon health sciences when I looked at the door Way. There stood Byron in his Uniform, after flying all night to get home. I can't remember the details but we didn't think he would make it home in time.
    He seemed huge.. yet like a child,sad
    It was a
    moment you never forget.
    He cared about his dad, a good man. Iris spoiled Darrell. All he cared about that day in Portland was going to a titty bar.


    Byron was my friend.
    Shannan wouldn't even call me to let me know he died 20 years ago.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BOctober 24, 2024 at 1:15 PM

      Byron Gene Wells served his country in Vietnam.
      I miss you!

      He'd strangle you Darrell, if he knew the harm you have caused.

      Delete
  6. BOctober 25, 2024 at 9:14 AM

    I'm in pieces today and completely lost.
    God. Please help me

    ReplyDelete

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